A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.



2.     The Horse And The Chicken

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab my leg and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

Moral: If you're hunk like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

3.     The Cat Story

There was this cat who loved to get drunk, so he went to the bar down town on the other side of the tracks. He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.

The cat starts to stumble on home. As the cat comes to the train tracks he doesn't notice a train as it is coming his way. The cat starts to cross the track and the train is right on him. Just as he crosses, the train goes on by, but the cat was not all the way over and the train ran over his tail, the cat turns its head to see were his tail is and the train cuts his head clean off.

Moral: Don't Loss Your Head Over A Little Piece Of Tail!

4.     The Boss

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I'll give each of you just one wish.” ”Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Maldives, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.... “Puff!” He's gone.“Me next! Me next!” says the sales representative. “I want to be in Madagascar, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Mojitos and the love of my life. “Puff!” He's gone. “OK, you're up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral: Always Let Your Boss Have The First Say.

5.     The Bird

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and ha...ppy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral:  1. Not Everyone Who Shits On You Is Your Enemy.

2. Not Everyone Who Gets You Out Of Shit Is Your Friend.

3. When You're In Deep Shit, It's Best To Keep Your Mouth Shut!

6.     Someday We Might Need

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. However, the cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.

He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him.

At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

An hour later ... The man calls his wife at home and asks her, "Jen is the cat there?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" asked his wife.

Frustrated the man said," Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions to reach home!!!

Moral: How Much Ever We Dislike Somebody; Someday We Might Need Their Assistance.

7.     Don't Lie To Mom

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more ...between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

 Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Moral: Don't Lie to Your Mother.